Mr and Ms Australia - I don't want to say or do anything that might distract you from your McMansion redecorating or your sports spectating - but you might want to take 10 minutes to read this little speech by your Opposition Leader.
Because the fascinating thing about it is that he appears to be telling the truth. What is it about our politicians when they go overseas - they can't be straight with us at home - but apparently they are straight with their international audiences?
So back here in a domestic setting Mr Abbott is all very negative - telling us how the carbon price will decimate the place, how the Government has lost control of our borders and how the sky is about to fall in.
But once he gets to America - he does what all Australian politicians do and he *sucks up*.
"We are more than allies, we’re family". Which is why they have military bases here - obviously.
"Despite any entitlement mindset, it is possible to get debt and deficits under control". Ohhh the cut is on then.
"Not since the war with Mexico, has America used force to extend its territory". He's a history buff then.
"The decision to rotate a marine brigade through Darwin is part of America’s bid to improve security ties with the wider region". Sorry about that Asia.
There are a few caveats of course.
"The United States shouldn’t take Australia’s support entirely for granted". No - we might object one day or some time but not now.
"Australia’s national interest might not always be identical with America’s". No - see above.
And he spins a little bit of his home grown wisdom.
"Real democracies, after all, have never gone to war with each other". Says the history buff.
"Still, the richer and more sophisticated a people become and the more access they have to information, the less likely they are to be impressed by militarism". How would he know?
The art of the *suck-up* was perfected by Howard, re-enforced by Gillard and now we can see that Abbott will continue the grand trend.
He asks no questions about their war-mongering, says nothing about their treatment of David Hicks and Julian Assange and has no pearls of wisdom about their perception of their place in the world and their treatment of the poor and disadvantaged.
He also makes no comment about the fact that they are at the bottom of the OECD Quality of Life tables.
Nope - in the grand tradition of Australian politicians he is engaged in the *suck-up*. Because that my friends is apparently what we here in Australia do.
None of this may interest you Mr and Ms Australia but it does interest me - and if you are so disengaged that you are happy for him to eventually run the place then you will deserve all the outcomes that he delivers.
It won't worry me so much - I will just decamp to Asia for 3 years or so and watch the shenanigans from there.
What will you do when he is on the rampage?
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